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Posts tagged: Insomnia

Its 8am and I still haven’t slept…

I have work tonight, a closing shift and I have a lot of errands to run so no time for naps. I feel so exhausted and I no I need sleep, especially for jellybean. No matter how hard I try to just relax, by reading, watching tv and talking to Matt, I just can’t do it and I feel so frustrated about it.

Its times like this I really hate myself for being bipolar. Insomnia, by far is the worst symptom I get out of it. It literally ruins my life and I hope now it doesn’t cause any harm to jellybean and only effects me. 

I’m frustrated because I can’t sleep.

No matter what. I know its just my bipolar. I’m not particularly feeling overwhelmed or that irritable. I just want to sleep because I’m so exhausted but my brains not letting me because it wants to race about the dumbest shit in the world.

I even contemplated on drinking just to slow it down. But at the same time… I’m like hell no its been 200 days and I haven’t relapsed. I want to keep it that way. Even if that means I’ll have to ask my mom for one of her anxiety pills o get my ass to sleep. This won’t be til much later maybe at 9pm the earliest. I’ve been up for basically 35 hours. The 2 hours worth of sleep I got tonight was pointless. I’m still tired, and No matter what I can’t sleep.